15 years ago, during the summer of 2003, my world was rocked when Kobe Bryant, my favorite basketball player was arrested for sexual assault. This was a time before the internet had reached its peak, so information wasn’t as accessible, so with no evidence to support her accusation or his denial, I was immediately on Kobe’s side. That blind loyalty only increased when he held a tearful press conference with his wife admitting to infidelity, but flatly denied the rape accusation.

No matter what was revealed during this very public investigation and trial, I never stopped believing in Kobe and when he gave an apology that reeked of a confession, I still questioned the victim and gave Bryant my undying loyalty.

You’re probably wondering why I’m talking about a 15-year-old case, I’ll get to the point. I was a teenager standing up for his idol. Despite a bunch of evidence, I let my adoration of Kobe block all logic; in hindsight, I was wrong. Reflecting as an adult, I can see how youth, ignorance, and partialness influenced my thinking. In the last week, I have seen the same kind of undying loyalty, and aggressive dismissal of the facts from grown men responding to Bill Cosby’s sentencing, I’m here to say that it’s not cool.

Bill Cosby is a rapist, It doesn’t matter if he raped one woman, or the 40 plus women who have accused him of assault thus far, he is a rapist. And when we, but particularly men, try to defend the honor of someone who has inflicted trauma on so many people, we’re not just sharing a “controversial take” we’re dismissing the cries of assault victims. These aren’t just random names attempting to step into the spotlight, there is no glory in having to tell the world you were taken advantage of. Especially when you’re facing off against someone with more money than most of us will ever see, and a reputation that has given him friends in high places.

I get it, Bill Cosby was like a dad to me too, like Kobe, Cosby was the ultimate role model. He represented the kind of man that I could become, and the type of family I could aspire to build. But we can’t keep making excuses for shitty things that men do. He doesn’t deserve our sympathy, and we shouldn’t be coming to his defense. This isn’t happening because he “tried to buy NBC”, no there isn’t some secret conspiracy from white people to destroy our black leaders. Well, actually, there probably is a secret group of white people on a mission to undermine or destroy black leaders, but they’re not after Cosby. This is a story of a man who drugged women so he could have sex with them. He did this to himself.

Take a step back and really think about this. Over 40 women have accused him of assault, Cosby in court documents has admitted to drugging women for sex, and now, a jury of his peers has found him guilty of sexual assault. The evidence is overwhelming, but you’re still out here defending him.